What Causes Addiction? Can you Stop it?

Hi All,

I hope you're well! I hope that your child's addiction isn't getting the best of you and your life, but if it is, it's understandable. I know that I sometimes have downer days. Sometimes, I have really tough weeks. Those suck because it's like nothing at all could make me happy except being able to turn back the clock and figure out how to stop it before it started.

Not so long ago, I wrote about how my daughter's addiction isn't about me. I still wonder, though, if it's not about me, why am I so profoundly affected by this whole experience? Why is it changing the very essence of who I am? How is it that one little person who I gave life to could be so powerful to devastate me with some simple actions against herself?

Another pretty picture of the Gulf... Can you tell I love it?

More to the point, why didn't I see my daughter's addiction coming and why didn't I stop it? Could I have stopped it?

The truth is, I really don't know, but in my work, and my research, I have learned a little about what causes addiction. I have also learned a little about what can boost your chances of intercepting it before it becomes a significant issue. In my case, it's a little too late, I think, but I know there are a lot of people out there who are just now confronting the reality that their teen or young adult child is abusing substances or alcohol.

10 Things to do Today When Coping with an Adult Child's Addiction

Hi All!

Lots of stuff going on here lately. Not all bad - in fact - some pretty good, but some other things, eh, kind of so-so. Last post, I talked about what would happen if my addicted daughter would die tomorrow. It was depressing, I know. I actually cried while I wrote it. And then, surprisingly, I felt somehow cleansed for a while.

So, I started thinking, like writing this blog is helping me. It's giving me the power to see that there is so much more to my life than my daughter's addiction. Yes, my daughter's heroin addiction is a huge part of my life. It makes me ache deep in my heart. Mama's and daddy's, I know you know what I'm talking about.

Just a lovely picture of a sunset
enjoyed on vacation. I'm going to
start including images :) I'm not a good
photographer, but I'm going to share
the ones I come across.

But, there's more to the world than this. I mean, the truth is, when our kids leave the nest, we aren't supposed to be so involved in their lives that we stop ours. They are supposed to be people that we enjoy, we love, and spend our most precious moments with. So, here's the thing: I do this. All of it.

Anyway, so I started thinking - knowing that I have just a few people walking this road with me helps me so, so much. But, what am I doing for you? You keep coming back hoping for a cure, I know. I can't offer that, but I can provide you with some tips.

I can tell you the top 10 things I do when I'm really struggling to cope with my daughter's addiction, and maybe, they can help you, too. So, are you ready? Here goes:

What if My Addicted Daughter Were to Die Tomorrow?

Hi Everyone!

All five people who read this! Haha - I'm kidding. Well, not really, but I'm okay if even just one person reads this. In a way, it's like a journal I guess. Or, like getting together with friends... I can't tell too many people about it, like on Facebook right now, because I am trying to protect my daughter. Maybe not her feelings so much, but yes, in a way. Also, her reputation. Because I am a mother who believes that someday her child will shed the ugly mask of her addiction and live the beautiful life that she so badly deserves. And, of course, there is the cya of life. Cover.Your.Ass. It's reality.

So this brings me to today's topic. I'm going to get right to it because it's a very heavy thing I've been carrying around with me for all this time: what if my addicted daughter were to die tomorrow. Or, today for that matter? What happens when somebody calls an ambulance and the EMT says something about a junkie who overdosed? What happens when she overdoses and someone leaves her there - dying - because they are too scared to get busted themselves?

It happens. Every single day. Multiple times a day. And this is what I live with. This is what breaks my heart in the dark of night. This and this alone is what keeps me praying for my child, what keeps my hot tears landing on my pillowcase when I should be sleeping. It is what makes this post so hard to write. 

How I've Lost Myself, and What I'm Doing to Find Me

Happy Wednesday! We have a snow day! Um... Haha! It's actually not so bad, just my husband, youngest daughter and two dogs. Don't tell my mom, but the cat - who we're all allergic to, but working to get used to - is inside, too. She's allergic so I try to keep him in the garage and outside when she comes! 

Well, it's cold, and he's cute! 

So, today I want to talk about how I've lost myself because of my daughter's addiction. Do you feel it, too? Of course, we all have times that we sacrifice the essential "us" of us to help make things better for loved ones. Maybe it's the workouts you love. Or, maybe it's music that you stop listening to because your granddaughter wants to watch "Hot dog..."

Oh, wait, that's me! I'm sorry, but you get my point. Now, maybe you're thinking that everyone grows up, and maybe I'm just not being a grown up. Well, yeah, maybe. I mean, like lots of people, I get a little carried away when it comes to being self-centered, but this isn't that.

The Fallout from Deciding to Get Clean

Hi, Everyone!

I really hope nobody's freezing to death out there! I checked and it looks like even folks in Florida are crazy cold! No beaching it this week for the Snowbirds! Not to worry, it's going to get nice again soon. I checked. Plus, it is winter, which is always pretty depressing to me. Artificial heat, snuggled under blankets and nothing but a cold, frosty landscape when you look outside. Like I said, depressing. But, it can be seen as a time of regenerating, I guess. 

Anyway, so I thought of something last night when I received my addicted daughter's last text of the evening... The reason I have to qualify her in that way today is because she was kind of being an ass. Actually, a lot. It wasn't what she said, it's how she said it, and since she's engaged again, she seems to think that she doesn't need us anymore. She's not working, and he's probably not, either. She thinks she has her "little family," but in truth, it's two just-barely-legal adults and one itty bitty who has no say over the heroin-induced haze that her parents live in.

Not so long ago, I did a post about my daughter deciding to get clean. I was eager to hope but skeptical in a healthy way. It turned out to be false hope, and I expected it to be. Now-fiancee was in jail at the time, and sadly it turns out that my daughter just hid her use from me better than I care to admit. 

My Daughter's Addiction is Helping Me to Become a Better Person

Happy Friday Everyone! Yes, I know it's been 10 days. Sadly, I didn't win the ginormous Powerball Jackpot. I was busy dreaming about it, and then worrying because I honestly wouldn't know what to do with all that money. I think I would have to become a philanthropist or something. I'd be the weird lady just looking for people who were struggling so I could buy them groceries and clothes. No tax write-off, just the way I am.

So, good thing I didn't win, right? Haha. There's always next time. Anyway, onto other things. 

I want to talk about how my daughter's addiction is helping me to become a better person. Yes, I know, it's totally weird, but you might find this happening to you, too. It's a really weird transformation, but it's one that I almost welcomed because it's so hard to be all tightly wound and angry all the time. In my last post, I talked about Family therapy and what it was like for me, 

Personally, I prefer sunshine to rain - unless I'm lucky enough to take a long cozy nap - then rain is good. I like to smile. I prefer light to dark. I have a feeling my daughter's addiction takes her to some pretty dark places. The night is probably her friend, and maybe that's why I like the clean colors of light. Either way, I'm finding that I am truly becoming a better person in quite a few ways, and I largely attribute it my kid and her habits.

Family Therapy to Help Your Addicted Child - My Experience - and How it's Supposed to Be

Should I toss out my usual greeting? I did say hi once today already. It was early this morning. I've been putting out my thoughts in starts and fits and suddenly it becomes clear to me that none of my posts are making much sense. Sure, it's a side effect of being busy and the Holidays, but how can we help each other, and how can I share my experiences with you if I'm all jumbled and disjointed?

In my last post, I talked about how my daughter's addiction is affecting me, and what I'm doing - or going to try to do - to make sure it doesn't anymore. I want to get more organized with what I want to share. However, something always holds me back. Part of it is emotional. See, the thing that many don't realize is how hard it really is to put the effects of your child's addiction into words. Sometimes, all you have is emotion, and sometimes that emotion is enough to overwhelm you.

I guess I'm one of those. I don't get mad anymore. I don't get sad, either. Instead, it seems like lately, I'm just kind of floating. I'm not in touch with my feelings, and I don't really feel anything. This leaves me wondering what's going on. I mean, I'm sure you know how it feels to just not have any feelings at all. If you've been dealing with your child's addiction for any amount of time, you're going to know where I'm at.

Now that I realize this, I'm going to start trying to get organized with my posts. Because there are things I can share that maybe you don't know, and there are probably a ton of things that you can share that I don't know. Which is why, if you have a comment, please, please leave it. I want this to be a supportive adventure. Because if we don't have each other, who do we have? I want this to be a friendly place where you can share if you want to. And, I love success stories, by the way.

Coping With My Child's Addiction - It's Not About Me... Or is It?

HI Everyone!

It's a brand new year, which means that there are a whole lot of doors waiting to be opened. Some are already opening while others are waiting for the turn of the knob. I'm hoping that all of you have had a wonderful Holiday Season. I know it's been a bit of a whirlwind for me, and I'm secretly grateful that they are over. But, they were really wonderful - all things considered.

So, I've been thinking about this blog that I'm writing. See, it's supposed to be about me and how I cope with my daughter's addiction. Unlike other fortunates, my daughter is not choosing to get clean yet. She has not made the decision to begin living clean and sober just yet. In fact, she's hit another spiral. But the thing is, my goal is to be okay with this. To be okay with anything, because I know I cannot control it.