My Personality Flaws have Affected My Relationship With my Daughter

Hi Again!

I feel like I should attach a smiley face to these because it always feels a little like getting together with friends. Friends who get me... Friends who know just what I'm going through because they're going through it too. Unfortunately, I'm only hearing myself talk, which is a little weird, but I'm hoping that you feel like it's a conversation. I imagine the things that all of you would say. At least, I hope I do.

You know what I see? Moms, dads, uncles, aunts and maybe grandparents. I see people who put on a brave face day after day because life really must go on. I see panicked, tired eyes. I see pale faces or pink moons on the cheeks that suggest a heightened sense of anxiety. I see red ears, too. I see barely contained rage, and hurt, sadness hidden by smiles... I see many different versions of myself. I see, beneath it all, undying love for these addicted children. I see a blind faith in the ability of our kids to get clean and live happy lives. I. See. Hope.

Why Can't You Feel Anything About Your Child's Addiction When You Really Need to?

Hi All~

Hopefully, you're getting a little bit better at coping with your child's addiction every single day. I know it's a struggle, I'm there, too. But, with a little bit of time to come to terms with things and some personal attention, I truly believe that no matter what my child chooses to do with her situation, I will be able to live a happy, healthy and truly wonderful life.

Now, I'm not going to say I won't still hurt. I'm not going to pretend that I don't miss that kid who played DJ whenever we would drive somewhere. I'm not going to tell you that I'm okay running errands by myself when I used to have a constant companion. I mean, it's been years, but sometimes I look to the empty passenger seat and, for just a moment, my throat fills with tears.

Why You Need to Keep Your Other Relationships Strong when Dealing with an Addicted Grown Child

Hi All~

So, it's another day in paradise. I hope everyone who reads this can see their personal silver lining. It's hard, I know, I'm right there, too. I don't know if I ever clarified this, but this blog is kind of more about my journey to recovery from my daughter's addiction. See, it's her addiction, but in many ways, it's my battle. Or, I should say, recovering from the effects that her addiction has had on my life is my battle. It's my husband's battle, and it's my youngest daughter's battle. It's my granddaughter's battle. She was born into it and has no idea she's even fighting it yet, but she will. And I plan to be around to guide her through it if she'll let me.

My Child's Addiction Might Be My Fault, But it's Probably Not

Hi Everyone, 

So, I've been thinking about this subject. My child's addiction, sure, but more to the point... Did I cause it? Did my parenting somehow damage my daughter to the point that she would need to constantly numb her damaged psyche and heart? Did I not tell her that I love her enough? Did I neglect her or make her feel like she was less than she truly is? Did my goofy ways somehow diminish her overall importance and self-esteem?

Thanks to: slodive.com

There have been so many nights that I've cried myself to sleep. I wondered if I could have hugged her a little harder or done something differently. I used to think if I could just go back to that little girl and show her more how important to me she was, it could have made all the difference.

I would lie awake and replay every moment we spent together. Looking, searching for something, anything that confirmed her accusations of my lacking parenting skills. Now, I have to say, I was 17 when she was born. I loved (still love - of course) her more than I had ever loved anyone. My sole purpose in life was to be her momma. I wasn't the best when it came to reading her books or educational things. But, she got a diverse musical education and had a vocabulary that impressed most grown-ups.

How do You Know Your Grown Child is Addicted?

Hi All~

Hope everyone is well. I've been trying to come up with some of the topics that drive me personally crazy about my daughter's addiction all the time. I figure if it gets me, you might be dealing with the same issues. So, today, I want to talk about how you know that your grown child is addicted.

One thing I learned the first time my daughter did a stint in Intensive Outpatient Rehab is that addiction, or "owning" an addiction is up to the addict themselves. So, like even though all the signs are right there screaming, "I'M HOOKED!" If your loved one doesn't admit an addiction, there might not be one.

Thanks Pinterest, but here's the link, too... Great site,
check it out!

It's really frustrating to many, and it drives me absolutely nuts. But, it's a reality of this condition. I'm going to call it a condition because addiction is out of the individual's control. As I said in my previous post, once it takes hold, it's there and you can't control it.

So, it raises the question: how do you know your grown child is addicted? Is there any clear cut way to move past the lies your kid is telling you and get to the truth of the matter? More to the point - does it really matter?

Let's Start at the Beginning: Understanding Addiction

My first post ever and I re-read it to find that it's pretty morbid. It's sad, and yes, that's life, but there's also a reality to having an addicted child or grown child that has nothing to do with heartaches and pain. It's the day-to-day reality of coping with the situation in a way that allows you and your whole family to continue to enjoy life no matter what your addicted child chooses to do.

Now, if you have a teen who is battling an addiction, it's a bit different. It's your responsibility to try and help him or her. But eventually, that teen grows up, and your responsibilities and what you're allowed or able to do become blurry.

Photo courtesy of Xojane.com... Check it out. Very informative!

Not only that, but many of us don't understand addiction. I know I didn't. At first, I honestly believed that my daughter was punishing me for something that I had done. Yes, maybe on some level she had issues with the way I raised her. She was 15 when we first started this battle, and she was mad that I had forced her into treatment, of course, I was going to be the whipping boy when it came to family therapy. But the reality is that we could have overcome our little problems in a much different way - but by focusing on these issues - she didn't have to deal with the deeper, more troubling problems that she had.

I Suspect My Child's Addicted to Heroin - What About Yours?

Hello to anyone who is reading this... 

I decided to start this blog because even though I have a tremendous support system, nobody really knows what it's like to watch your child slowly kill themselves. Not my parents, or my husband (he is her step-dad, a great one, but still a step), not my friends, or my sister. Nobody knows how it feels to see your child not only be high but get skinnier and skinnier. 

My daughter took this picture before she became addicted - when she was just a
normal girl, in a normal family...